“Who dares to teach must never cease to learn” – John Cotton Dana
In The Beginning
Since the day my first child was born I have assumed that
being a parent also meant being a teacher.
I believed that as a parent it was my responsibility to teach my children
how to become productive members in society.
As the years have gone by my family has gotten caught up in the cycle of
life – children grow up, go off to college, and start their own careers and
families. For the most part this is
correct however, now in many ways roles have switched. My children have become the teachers and my
wife and I the students. As it turns
out, I am learning just as much about life from them. Parents can learn much from their children if
they are willing to become the student.
Embrace the Chaos
Growing older has brought much change. Our house once again
is quiet. No longer is there the daily
grind of practice, homework, or preparing school lunches. As I grow older, many times I feel guilty for
indulging in the treats life has to offer.
Whether it’s a chunk of fudge or a well deserved vacation, for many
reasons I talk myself out of it. My
children continue to teach me that it’s okay to stop worrying so much about
things; that it’s okay to enjoy the sweetness of life without worrying about
it.
Over the recent holidays all my children and their families
were at our house. My wife had spent a
great deal of time preparing for them.
The house was perfect. However,
once everyone arrived the orderliness and perfection were hard to come by. The house was a mess but this time I listened
to my children. What I realized is that
not only was our house a total mess but life is messy too. I realized that just as I experienced during
the recent holidays some of our best times together have been when I gave into
the chaos and messiness. It’s okay to
stop worrying about everything being perfect and just embrace life for what it
is.
It’s okay to laugh
When was the last time you experienced a nice big belly
laugh? When was the last time you
laughed at yourself over something you did?
My children have taught me that as an adult I have forgotten how
important it is to find humor in every situation. They remind me daily how important it is to
send out positive vibrations in order to experience the wonderful moments life
has to offer. Laughing is contagious;
when you laugh those around you laugh.
I taught my grandson a game.
He asks, “Guess what?” He will
ask it over and over then respond with “That’s what!” There is nothing like a fit of laughter to
make the world more bearable. The
laughter in our house over the holidays lightened us up, it connected us, and
most of all it gave us a different perspective.
My children reaffirmed that laughter makes everything alright.
Be Yourself
The most important lesson I taught my children was to be
themselves. In turn, they regularly
remind me to be myself and not someone I am not – on occasion I have been known
as the grumpy old man. Somewhere along
my journey I got caught up with how others see me. I put on my best face and charge forward
regardless of the circumstances. Oscar Wilde once said “Be yourself; everyone else is
already taken.” Some people will like
you and others will not. Don’t be
someone you are not with hopes of everyone liking you. Be yourself, not what others want you to
be. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “no one can
make you feel inferior without your consent.”
When we
accept our self and others for who we are, without casting criticism or placing
judgment, we create a safe and comfortable world to live in. Accepting individuality and self expression
in others also enables us to be ourselves.
My children continue to teach through their individuality, self
expression and inner confidence by being themselves and not worrying about how
others think they should be.
Whether you are a young parent or older parent, young adult
or older adult much can be learned from children if you let them teach
you. Embracing the chaos, learning to
laugh and being yourself are just a few of the things you can learn. Regardless of your age everyone is a student.
